Spirit: A Matter of Science (Pun Intended)

Solid, liquid, gas!
Ice cube, water, steam.
Body, blood, breath.

Through this lens, we understand, in part, the three primary states of matter in this material world. Which has begged the question of many inquiring minds, what is in between these particles? Matter and non-matter? What is smaller than a strand of hair, a molecule, an atom, a photon, and so on? Although he was more of a theologian than a scientist, Joseph Smith Jr. received the following insight concerning "matter" dating as far back as 1843.

"There is no such thing as immaterial matter. All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes;" (Doctrine & Covenants 131:7)

So... Solid, liquid, gas & spirit then? Wait a minute!? I thought Section 131 was about the new and everlasting covenant of marriage?? What does spiritual matter have to do with eternal marriage?

This covenant of marriage is understood by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a saving ordinance, and must be "sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise" (see Doctrine and Covenants 132:18,) in order to be effectively "sealed up" (Doctrine & Covenants 131:5) Spirit, being the key word here. Yes, as far as I understand it, spiritually - purely - materially bound or sealed (perhaps even sub-atomically) -  This marriage, by refined science, purity and proper authority, quite literally seals two souls together eternally.

I love the image. I envision, were I to be permitted to see with purer eyes, a golden light swirling and forming bonds that encircling a couple at the alters of sacred Temples, locking their love eternally as one, never to be broken. Could a thousand ton wight crush a single atom? And if spirit be finer still, how then can something so small as death - unable to affect the spirit - ever hope to touch the literal bonds of the Holy Spirit of promise sealing two souls together? I argue even by petty reason that it cannot.

Like to dive deep Jake? Yeah... that's number five, lets take a couple of steps back, I get ahead of myself.

So far as I have observed, five unique forms of "Spirit" found in the standard works. They are as follows:

1.) The literal spirit children of God. (Intelligences)
2.) The Spirit of Christ (aka Light of Christ)
3.) The gift of the Holy Spirit (Holy Ghost)
4.) The gifts of the Spirit (Spiritual Gifts)
5.) The Holy Spirit of Promise (Confirmation of the Lord's acceptance of sacred ordinances/covenants)

I believe Joseph Smith Jr spoke well when he said "fine or pure" as principles of purity and faithfulness are paramount in spiritual matters. (Temporary Laws to govern things of impermanence - Spiritual Laws to govern things eternal)


1.) The Literal Spirit Children of God

Romans 8:16 of the New Testament states "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:" Likewise from Ether 3.15-16 we, like Christ, have spiritual bodies that look just like our physical bodies in the flesh. Abraham speaks of our eternal spirits in these words. "Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was;..." "And God saw these souls that they were good...for he stood among those that were spirits" (Abraham 3:22-23) Further evidence of the eternal nature of our individual intelligences (what I imagine as the very essence or identity of our spirits, perhaps centralized in our hearts) is found in Doctrine and Covenants 93:29 "Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be."


2.) The Spirit of Christ

Speaking of the light of truth, the Spirit of Christ can be understood as "the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things." (Reference)

"Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space—" (Doctrine & Covenants 88:12)

This, in it's most basic and literal form can be understood as a.) physical light - particles of photon produced by the solar energy of our very sun, but also in the reflecting light of the moon, and of the stars and even the b.)power by which they were made. More importantly, c.) the light of truth. But most commonly but not altogether differt on a subatomic structure - the very nature of what we call our d.) conscience. (Doctrine & Covenants 88:6-11) Yes, that's right, queue as coined by Walt Disney's classic Pinoccio, ♫ "Always let your conscience be your guide" ♫ Or as Mormon explains it "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge;..." "...seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully." (Moroni 7: 16&18)


3.) The Gift of the Holy Spirit

The Comforter (The Holy Ghost) which Christ, having laid hands upon his apostles in the meridian of time, gifted so that they might not entirely be without God (Christ) on earth after his crucifixion. (John 13:26-27) Different than our individual spirits, or that of the Light of Christ, which is power and influence rather than actual constant companionship of this third member of the Godhead. "The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth;" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:46)


4.) The gifts of the Spirit

These spiritual gifts can be thought of not so much as the natural talents received by our mortal parents, but god-like abilities or blessings received and or enhanced through the companionship of the Holy Ghost. (see Doctrine & Covenants 46:9) Commonly referred to gifts, like those found in the Articles of Faith 1:7  and throughout the bible. "We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth." are a few good examples of this type of spirit.


5.) The Holy Spirit of Promise

And back to where we started. The Holy Spirit of Promise, put simply is a confirmation by the Holy Ghost that acts, covenants or ordinances are accepted by the God, performed correctly, and honored faithfully. (reference) This Holy Spirit of Promise is essential, not only for eternal marriage, but any covenant, ordinance, or act in order for it to remain in affect after this life. (Doctrine & Covenants 132:7, 18–19, 26)


And so, next time you hear the word "Spirit" consider under which context it has reference.

But Jake, what about evil spirits, like those that chased the swine to their watery deaths in Mark 5:1–13 or along the same lines, those seven sons of Sceva, who without authority attempted a failed exorcism resulting in evil spirits attacking and wounding them, sending them out naked. Acts 19:13-16

Or even in general, the spirit of contention spoken of in 3 Nephi 11:29, or other like spirits of behavioral influence?

I'd put evil spirits into the 1st category, as these too are spirit children of our heavenly father who didn't keep their first estate, or in other words, chose to follow Satan before the world was, and rebelled against God's plan. (See Jude 1:6, Abraham 3:26)

And regarding spirits of behavioral influence I'll put in category 2, light of Christ, for we are free to choose good or evil, knowing how to judge for ourselves, and so able to choose how we are influenced to behave or act. See 2 Nephi 2:27

Conclusion

I hope the above ponderings have helped you feel the influence of the Spirit of Christ, and that by that good influence it may propel you to some good behavioral action. Have you been impressed with any thoughts, feelings or ideas by which you feel impressed to act on? Clicking on and studying further into any of the above links? Expressing gratitude to God or a family member? If so, I invite you to act on anything you've felt impressed to do, no matter how big or small. Doing so will only bring you closer to God, and even if only one person comes closer to God because of the time investment, how wonderful! It will have been worth both our whiles. God bless you, my supporters and readers. Thank you for making it this far.

I give one further invitation. If nothing else, I invite you to read Moroni 7, ponder its message, judge as you see good, and lay hold upon every good thing until you and I - that we all may grow closer to God.

My Mindfulness Practice

I observed a curious thought recently while meditating. What would it look like if I were to explain meditation using my own word?

The following are my insights.

Meditation, in my experience, is simply awareness of thing's as they exist via our 5 senses, whether experienced internally or externally, for five minutes or twenty. It's often suggested as an empty mind or thinking of nothing, but those descriptions miss the mark. It's more like getting out of first person and observing from 3rd person. Anything. Have a thought? Note it's existence. Feel an emotion? Acknowledge it. Hear something? Experience it. This is meditation.

A good way to start is by taking a. Few deep breaths and simply observe and note whats going on around you. In your head say, see, hear or feel.

For example, now I hear a fan clicking. I don't say "fan" I say hear. Currently I can mentally imagine the fan and see myself spin my eyes in the opposite circle. But I don't say blade, fan, or spin. Those are descriptions. I say "see" or "thought". If I feel at peace I don't say calm or peacefully, I say "feel".

In this way you can objectively train your mind to reach delta states while still being fully awake. So what if you find your mind wandering? As soon as you notice... "Thought"

Once practiced with see hear and feel, add thinking, emotion and visualizing/imagining. Give it a go and see what ways it benefits you. I've restored good blood pressure and ability to center myself before conversations. Share in the comments your experiences with meditation, and or your questions.

anx·i·e·ty

anx·i·e·ty
aNGˈzīədē

When you know what you want until you sit down

Then suddenly, you’re paralyzed, and you simply just cannot.

When you try to accomplish the things on your list

But they sit there untouched worse yet, not jot.

When you worry about your own worrying

And others see it as behavioral sub par propriety

But this is our reality, once truly seen,

Cannot be unseen - this is anxiety.

I used to think I knew what it meant,

To feel distressed, uneasy, anxious

But until it consumes you, and begins to run your life

You simply can’t know what we’re trying to express.

“Buck up. Perform. Find your why. Calm down.”

All nice in our heads, and certainly well intended

But at the end of the day, whether two, five or ten

Help us not a single one in ten did. (Yes, Yoda pun intended =)

It’s not that we don’t appreciate your help

It’s not that the things you say are not true.

Believe me, we wish we could start; we could stop.

But for us it’s like everything at once crashing through.

So, we go on a jog. We breathe in counts of ten.

We listen to music to calm our souls.

We literally take things one syllable at a time

Breaking it up into pieces to accomplish a whole.

So, when someone you love suffers from this debilitating disease,

Put them at ease, not by telling – breathe with them.

Suggest one simple next action, take the greater half.

And above all, what you think you understand, please don’t condemn.

Bipolar Disorder: 5 Nurturing Basics and How!

After several months of anhedonic depression, followed by a sudden onset of feeling severely hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness I accepted an invitation to go in for a crisis evaluation at the ER. Initially, of course, I didn't want to be one of "those people". But my love for my wife and her trust in a doctor's recommendation, got me out of what I originally planned on being my last resting place, my bed.

At the ER, I was asked a series of questions and was treated with much kindness and sympathy, I accepted an invitation to go to a behavioral hospital where I could have my meds evaluated in a safe and regularly monitored environment.

After 1 week in this center, having visited with medical, mental and social experts, I was diagnosed not with ADHD but Bipolar Disorder, prescribed an antiphycotic, and discovered a couple other potential health issues along with treatment.

Medication alone, I was advised would not be the end all cure all. It would help, but not fix the core issues. In order to do that I'd have to maintain my mental, physical and emotional health with proper diet, exercise and professional help from a therapist.

By the end of my time there I was fired up, stable and feeling on top of my game. Better than ever! Which of course lasted for a short time before my old habits, as I'm sure often happens after leaving such a structured and accountable environment.

After more frequent emotionally charged episodes with my wife, I pondered in the early morning, this morning, 5 essential nurturing needs that will need to be in order to more fully cope with Bipolar Disorder and maybe ever curb undesirable episodes for the long haul. I'll base my findings in the following scriptural teaching: Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

"Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day."

My main responsibilities involve not only independent needs but interdependent relationships.

"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (Mosiah 2:17)

I'll reference these 5 things to be interchangeable with the following:

Service: (Social, Work, Parenting, Community, Friends, Family, Relationships)

HEART: Prescribe PLAY
(Emotional Health / Feelings, Emotions, etc)

MIGHT: Prescribe ATONEMENT
(Spiritual Health / Beliefs, Values, Religion, etc)

MIND: Prescribe SLEEP
(Mental Health / Prescribed medications for mental illnesses, education, remembrance/diligence)

STRENGTH: Prescribe DIET & EXERCISE
(Physical Health / Energy, endurance, muscle, vitals, etc.)


Health is not as linear as many think it to be - it's more circular. All influence and interact with each other. Not enough sleep and your mind and body don't get enough rest influencing your mental health and physical health. Less clear thinking least to poor choices, less physical energy determines how you feel about the things you do. Self talk affects your mental health, and maybe even social interactions. Affects the quality of service you  do, all spiraling into all kinds of disasters.

If each of the these 4 elements were properly understood and cared for - the quality of our daily relationships, service and interdependence between each other.

I'd like to report 4 high priority goals and return to measure my progress. The 4 goals to hopefully improve the quality of my service as a Son of God, Husband, Father, Church Member, Employee/Employer, Community Member, and Friend, are as follows:

Heart: Play - Discover hobbies or other healthy interests besides video games

Might: Atonement - Come to discover my Savior better by getting in and studying his word through words of the living prophets more and pulling principles from the scriptures daily if not at least weekly.

Mind: Sleep - get at least 6 hours of sleep a night.  No matter what.

Strength: Diet & Exercise - Find physical movement that feels delicious to my body and soul and develop a consistent exercise regiment. Also keep to a 4 plate diet, testing my blood sugar to avoid becoming diabetic and needing insulin shots. Checking my fasting blood sugar daily will keep me motivated and informed on how I'm doing on a daily basis.


Lastly, in the comments section, if you wish, does anyone want to join me on my adventure and share your 4 goals? I firmly believe keeping these 4 elements of our lives will greatly influence the quality of our daily purposes as individuals. Thank you for your continued support in reading, until next time.

Become: A turning point from depression to renewed hope!

I'lI never forget what my grandmother said
On her third maybe fourth to last deathbed.
See, she was always dying, hanging on for dear life,
Always has been since my mom was what? Thirteen?

But here she was at age ninety-one
Having suffered a stroke, left arm and throat, numb.
Had to relearn how to speak and make words
She said to me in her half-broken speech,

"I'm a yo-yo," she said, "I've been as low as they go,
But I always bounce back, albeit less high as time goes.
And soon, I'lI be layed down in the dust,
But not today! I've got lots of string left!

I marvel at that - having been through so much,
To bounce back each time, just under enough?
How I wished at the time I could transform her world
Like something seen out of Dr Strange or Inception, you know?

I'd rotate the whole world,
Turn it up on its head so,
Each time the yo-yo was released,
It would drop upwards instead.

And every time it would come back down
It'd be a little less low, rising higher each round
But it was all in my head; a fantasy of mental speak
Only real in my mind so, so far from my reach.

I'll never forget that morning she died.
She came into my mind by a dream to say, "Good-bye."
I greived and awoke to note the time,
And later learned it was the exact time that she died.

How powerfully complex is our network of minds -
Whether science unexplained or something more divine -
That a soul so close to us in life
Might reach across the cosmos to communicate death,
In the very moment of their passing?

Might I then underestimate the power of my own mind;
In my dark moments, yo-yoing in and out of depression?
My grandmother was out of my reach, but my depression
Begins and ends in my own miraculous mind!

Unrestrained by mortal limitations and laws
I can flip things around! "[My] future is as bright as [my] faith."
Darkness must flee before light.
No lie retains substance when truth is laid bare.

And the truth about depression is - that it's fed by our minds.
The same mind that connects us in powerful ways.
The same power that enables us to rewrite our own futures
As if from a screen where all that limits us is
The infinite potential of our own limitless imagination!

We are not what we have imagined to be.
We are.
We can be.
We will be our best selves imaginable.

Become.
Become.
Become.

Anhedonia: Depression Incognito!

I have a fire, and an enthusiasm for life an everything in it! Also, I'm rarely if ever sad. The two might just be related. So... I can't possibly consider myself to be depressed, right?? Wrong.

I LOVE, absolutely love the following:
Lifting others up, providing encouragement, brightening other's days.
Principle Pulling - diving into, learning, and teaching from the scriptures. Especially the Book of Mormon.
Music - singing, writing, improvising, singing with others especially.
Listening to audio books and learning.
Finding connections between seemingly unrelated things.
Playing with my children on the floor.
Cooking.
Deep cleaning.
Teaching.
Working on computers.
Video editing.
Sorting / Organizing.
Planning.
Creating.

I can seem to get myself to do any of those things anymore. =( I still have when my wife comes home that helps me feel happy and fulfilled. I have netflix and youtube. Also Destiny 2 (pretty much the only video game I can get myself to play and enjoy), and reading my friend's blogs. That's about all I look forward to or enjoy anymore. As I explained this to my brilliant wife, that's when I learned what anhedonia was...  I don't have to feel sad to be depressed.

I've been going through so many motions, and struggling with daily activities. My kids are fed and clothed. Sometimes I play with them, but find little to no enjoyment. In fact it's a chore. Most everything feels like a chore, and the guilt that comes with that - putting the least amount of work into making a meal so your kids are fed, or sitting at the computer and working instead of being with your kids. Or forcing yourself away from taking care of yourself or work to be with your kids and wishing you were doing something different, is crippling.

I won't apologize for the depressing tone of this blog post. It's good to be honest. To be vunerable and relate with others. It's also important not to dwell on it for too long, so I'll make the rest of this as short as possible and get back on beat. Notice, acknowledge, accept, and release. I've talked with my doctor, and what has been helping me with my anxiety disorder (zoloft) as opposed to 2 others I've tried, is now being doubled to hopefully help whatever chemical imbalance I'm going through. And you know what?? I'm writing the blog post.

I hate and am trying not to feel somehow guilty that i'm dependent on meds for ADHD, for anxiety, for depression. I wish more than anything to just be whole. To feel normal. -- If anyone reading this is worried about needing meds, or feeling guilty about their perscription, or just feeling like they're not enough... Take heart! Hang in there. I might not be exactly where you are, or dealing with what you're dealing with, but I've got a similar lingering, bitter taste. I don't know why I'm going through this. I don't know why you have to deal with this either. We all want and feel like we deserve a break. But we can grow through adversity. We can still lift others, even if in lifting others is not as rewarding. We can get through this. Seek help. See your doctor maybe. It takes courage, and maybe even goes against some cultural deep rooted beliefs. Send up a prayer and listen gently.

Thank you for reading this. Be brave! You and I have and are more than we realize, especially in dark times.

Encouragement

For absolutely anyone who stumbles across this - for whatever reason, including myself... You've got this! You can do hard things! Love, Jake! =)