(Project Updates) Becoming fantast[i]c ≥ [f]antastic

To reference the original article visit: http://meetjustjake.blogspot.com/2016/09/becoming-fantastic-fantastic.html


10/26/2016
For all of you who tuned in 10/17 or later, thank you for your support. I certainly digressed. Taking a week break didn't seem to serve me very well. Commitment must resume. Thank goodness for this blog to help me remember my goals and original motivation. Time to get back on track. And if I falter, I give myself permission to re-commit time and time again. It's all worth it, until daily planning and accounting become habit again. This accountability practice sure did help me stay on task before.

9/28/2016
Well, even with a busy schedule and crazy kids I was able to stick to my schedule fairly well. I started off real strong, and then the move got closer, a little more crazy and my resolve, a little less enthusiastic. How does one develop endurance? I think of exercise, and after a long time running how much simpler the original distance was to meet and exceed. I suppose I'll have to stick to it. I feel kind of down on myself for not holding through. There are lots of excuses I could give for why I progressively became more lax in my diligence, but I know I can do better. My self-critic is saying, step up, you planned your own schedule, take accountability for your actions and is trying to protect me from failing, while my inner kindness is saying, good job for accounting for all 5 days, and protect me from becoming more successful than I'm ready to take responsibility for, right? Perhaps this is why line upon line is such an effective way to learn, and why balance is so important.

From here I plan start again the beginning of next week, and let the rest of this week allow for adjusting to a new apartment, schedule, placement of room and establish places for activities like I had before. It's always tough moving to a new place, but the kids seem much less affected by this move than the other crazy moves since Jan 4th when our house was broken into in Las Vegas.

With no further adieu, my report:

Key:
Green 1 point for 2/3rds of time on point
Pink/Flamingo - 1/2 point for 1/2 to 2/3ds of time on point
Orange/Red - 0 Points as less than half of time was spent on point
1 Bonus Point for each completed Google Keep Note

Mon 8.5/10

Tue 9.25/9.5

Wed 8/10

Thur 5/10

Fri 10/10 - packing/new apartment day

OVERALL ?/49.5

40.75/49.5 = 82% time accounted for!

Now, granted, it should be realistic to be able to obtain 100% as my time management formula already allows for a 33% margin for error, but 82 is not too bad of a start. What concerns me most is Thursday felt really unproductive, but I believe with consistency in my new environment I should be able to best 82%! Tune in Mon 10/17 to see! Will I improve? Or digress in sticking to my scheduled outline for the day? I hope to improve.

(Project Updates) Avoid the "Saturday Morning Cartoons" of Life

To reference the original post visit: http://meetjustjake.blogspot.com/2016/09/avoiding-morning-cartoons-of-life.html


10/26/2016
Well, I took a week break, which really just turned into abandoning my goal. Thank goodness this blog post is here to "haunt" me throughout October! (see what I did there? yeah it was hardly a quip Halloween reference haha)

My motivation is long past, but my original desire to commit was sincere, and so, I resume my commitment. Abandoning it has brought nothing to the table. =) Wish me luck! I've got this!

09/28/2016

Made a few adjustments to my guidelines. Avoiding Facebook 8-4, as 5 typically has something important going on. Also, Messenger app is not off limits due to receiving some work related messages. Otherwise, I did catch myself checking on Saturday again partway through the morning or afternoon. But otherwise I'm doing good and still avoiding 8am-4pm.

Original Goals were:

1.) Be more sensitive to who I'm around and what message I'm sending by being on my phone or computer when I do get on them after 5pm and before 8am.
2.) Continue to evaluate the variety of uplifting or inspiring posts
3.) State my purpose before getting on Facebook.

1 - Only a few instances have I caught myself on at inappropriate times. probably 4 times in the past 10 days. Not too shabby

2 - Trying to post once a week about kids, principle pulls when I do one, honor a friend Friday (missed this past Friday) Sing with me Sunday posts are solid. Trying to have something uplifting each day -- also trying to limit posts to once a day. Neil L. Andersen once invited,

"Let’s make sharing our faith online more a part of our daily life." (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/its-a-miracle?lang=eng&_r=1)

and I try to live up to that while still trying to be real and add variety so it's not the only thing I use Facebook for. I think balance and a variety of posts is important.

3 - I wrote my purpose, but I have not committed it to memory or stated it before going onto facebook. I'll need to improve on that. I would however like to edit it.

My purpose on social media platforms is to seek out and share that which is "virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy". I also seek to inspire and uplift others through an appropriate use of spirituality, sincerity, kindness, compassion, integrity, thoughtfulness, and lighthearted humor.

Becoming fantast[i]c ≥ [f]antastic

A recent google doodle

made me think of http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html

Which in turn reminded me of the voice of blue laser screaming "FANTASTIC" from the cheat commando's series.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=fantastic%20definition

There are times when as a husband, father, business owner, church member, brother, son, friend and individual, the fact that I'm balancing all these titles and doing OK at most of them, and still keeping my cool in frustrating times, helps me feel like a pretty fantastic(i) person. =) Whatever our circumstances are, life's just difficult all around. We owe it to me ourselves to acknowledge our great moments, and allow them to boost our morale. However, we're not super heroes and we all have limits - limits which must be respected! Take on too much and we cross the line and become fantastic(f). Okay to be fantastic(i) not okay to be fantastic(f).

Sometime in the past month I started analyzing how much I was doing, and got myself a little overwhelmed. Still wanting to do more and be more, I pushed myself super-hero far, ignoring my limits. I didn't know this is what I was doing, but it makes sense looking back. I quickly turned from being fantastic to being fantastic! I'll let you figure out the (i) or (f) from here.

When I first started loosing grip and my cool, I felt like I was loosing parts of myself.  I reached out to a few strong friends and tried to focus more on building and restoring friendships. I figured it would help buoy me up, establish some recreational time to add an outside sourced measure of fun. Ultimately to help me recenter and handle everything else on my plate. 

However, my wife helped me realize that that's what my family and the Savior was here for and that focusing on building friendships was only serving to spread myself more thin. Problem. Initially, the idea was upsetting to me. I needed my friends. I missed strengths I use to see in myself and them when these 3 people were in my life, so why not be a supportive friend to  say thank you and genuinely be an active friend? Immaturely, I battled back and forth in my head, trying to blame sabotage, jealousy, self esteem or whatever terrible thing pride brings you to blame your spouse for when your views do not conform. Don't do it, just don't do it people. Josie, has always had our family and my own best interests at heart and has an amazing knack or talent for being able to see others needs or wants clearly. One of these day's I'll understand and accept the old adage that the woman is always right! After all, true friends aren't going anywhere. Their lives and for now the memory of their friendship/example are serving their purpose in my life.

3 timely friends and their individual legacies. Thank you! You know who you are. 

1.) Anything that Jesus touches lives. I can stay close to my Savior, build an indestructible marriage and raise a strong family.

2.) Journals are important. I can set, track and reach meaningful goals, express myself, and find joy in my priorities.

3.)  Where time is spent, there the heart is also. I can limit and even eliminate false entertainment traditions of my childhood for my own betterment.

And the best lesson of all, from my darling sweetie-love, Josie. Simplifying is more valuable than accessorizing. I can focus my time and attention on what is most important, grow into the man I deeply desire to be, and overcome my most trying challenges! You see the best in my Josie, and I love you!

So, now to the ME portion. I have a great schedule outlined, priorities considered, but I'm having difficulty sticking to it since no one's really holding me to it but myself. I have outlined a schedule that should serve to fit everything in between 8-5. I'll evaluate each section, and as long as I've dedicated 2/3rds of the assigned time to that task, I'll change it to a different color to indicate I stuck to that task for 2/3 majority of the time. Success! Similar if I don't, a different color, so after a week I can post my colors and evaluate where I need to improve, or adjust my schedule.

Here is a typical day as stands from 8-5.

Every hour is rewarded a point. Mon-Fri should total 10 hours a day 50 (54 including bonus points)  points total. Each point is worth a self spending allowance of $0.50 each. Simple enough! At the end of the week I'll make things I need to improve on worth 2 points or a $1 each. Color coding example to show as follows:

Google keep notes where all items are accounted for get 2 bonus points or a dollar each, per list.

\

Wish me luck!!

To follow my progress on this project visit: http://meetjustjake.blogspot.com/2016/09/project-updates-becoming-fantastic.html

Meat is SO a culture thing

I attempted to tackle a deeper understanding of meat and the Word of Wisdom scripturally. This was probably due to Josie's focus on protein lately and getting enough, and looking for more variety then lean meats to protein up! Also I really enjoy alfalfa sprouts and they're usually never found on anything restaurants except for vegetarian meal options. So between challenging myself to go no meat when I go out to eat and helping support Josie in her diet, I've been focused a bit on my diet and what goes in me. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, have you ever thought of going vegetarian or vegan? My brother I think is mostly vegetarian come to think of it. It opens up a wonderful world of variety. My favorite this week is sunflower seeds, and Jos and I have some quinoa we need to start using.

Anyway, back to my thoughts, my mind narrowed down on 2 words "ordained" and "nature" in D&C 89.
Herbs of the field, grain, fruit in their season, and then there's this meat thing like, hey this is Ordained too, but Adam, you named all the beasts of the fields so, you can eat them, but... Hey, have you considered grain? Yeah probably better hold off on Bambi unless you are really hungry or the crops aren't good. Just a though. They're there if ya need them.

I'm 100% confident that the amount of meat we eat is huge part cultural and small part laziness. Oh and then there's taste I guess but, I think the direction I'm going is good. A worthy challenge, and so far I'm liking it! Thought I'd share!

Avoiding the "Saturday Morning Cartoons" of Life

Coined by Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve as a term used by his family to describe something that keeps or delays us from reaching our worthwhile goals, I thought I'd adopt the term "Saturday Morning Cartoons" as it fits perfectly my struggles with constantly checking a popular social media outlet, Facebook.

After reading his Facebook post about the same I felt inclined to act on a prompting that I had, more or less, been ignoring for a while, to limit my use of social media, especially during the day when I have a lot of things going. I planned that I would put all my "time-waster" apps on my phone into a folder, and only access that folder before 8am or after 5pm. This would allow good flexibility in that I could focus on being more productive during critical hours, yet still exercise self control outside those hours. It turned out to be a lot harder that I like to admit, but did end up helping my productivity during the day even more that I originally thought.

Below are my results for this past week. I strove to take a screenshot somewhere around 8am and again before I decided to go onto (mainly) Facebook.


Hadn't quite established the 8am - 5pm screenshot rule, but did get some screenshots and did really well that day.


Had a busy morning and previous evening and by time it got to 8am I hadn't checked my social media folder. I decided it was worth keeping my rule and held off.


Kinda a dork, I can line stuff up I promise.


Still going strong!


Forgot the 8 am screenshot, but held my grounds!


After scanning a bit on Saturday, I realized my family responsibilities and productivity wasn't just during the week while I worked so I held out through the weekend.

I did get on facebook to post a weekly video that finished at 8am but even after 3 attempts it would not upload, so I kept at it and avoided checking notifications.


All in all, I'm proud of myself for sticking to it all week! It not only helped me be more productive throughout the day, but helped me realize some deeper issues I hadn't fully realized before.

Concerns it revealed:

1.) It was hard not to check right at 5pm.

Allowing notifications to build up makes me want to check right at 5pm. But 5 pm is nearly never priority free, free time. A couple times during the week I found myself attempting to split my attention between talking with my wife, or playing with the kids. Had I set a time to check it, I could have effectively said, "Okay, wife and kids, it's Facebook time, leave me alone I won't be long." But even right that out now it just seems silly. I think being able to assess when is appropriate and when is not, despite how excited I am to check it, is an important skill to have in every day life, social settings, etc.

2.) I felt I shared better insights/stories, but also felt more selfish.

All the notification build-up created a me monster. I'd usually have something I was excited to share, and had put more thought into it, which is great when you're trying to post something uplifting, <-OK but I was more excited to see notifications of people "reacting" to my posts, more so than share my next insight or story. <-Problem!

3.) I care too much about how others react to my posts, or how soon I'd get notifications after posting.

Why do we feel this way? Facebook is SO huge and pulls people's attention in SO many different ways that it's impossible to say how many people see a post in the first place. Also, I like things others post all the time without EVER pressing a like button or commenting. The number of comments or reactions that come from a post is a TERRIBLE indicator of how much people like you or care about what you think. This fact aside, for whatever reason there is this HUGE impact those likes and comments falsely create. Is it nice when people react? Sure, but everyone reacts in different ways on are all on at different times. Way too many variables. It's no wonder Facebook is destroying self esteem or creating a false sense of self esteem. Self worth never has and never will come from what other people think. It comes from within. Does this mean I'm insecure? Probably a little bit, and I'm creating those insecurities that never existed until AFTER I check facebook.


So, what do you do? Do you disable comments and reactions or posts to your profile? I'm not sure that tells anymore about a fix for the issue, than removing your "birthday" from being listed is tells you how many people actually remember or care about you and your birthday. I think there's a higher and healthier ideal than cutting out, or eliminating things that cause problems. I have to believe there is a way to grow around them.

And yet it's hard when you post 1 stupid picture of your kids and you get 50+ reactions, then post something like 10 take-aways from the best talk you've heard in a long time from a general authority, that's very close to your heart, and get 2 reactions. Or spend 3+ hours creating a video of a song you recorded that you feel really proud of and get a small handful of likes. Sure, I like my kids too, and they're are important to me, but I didn't put any time into how cute they look! Haha. And so we're back to square one.

If I post something that is near and dear to me, that should be enough. The number of reactions or comments should not elicit an emotional response. So my goals to improve upon this week are.

1.) Be more sensitive to who I'm around and what message I'm sending by being on my phone or computer when I do get on them after 5pm and before 8am.
2.) Continue to evaluate the variety of uplifting or inspiring posts
3.) State my purpose before getting on Facebook.

My purpose on social media platforms is to inspire and uplift myself and others through an appropriate positive use of spirituality, sincerity, kindness, integrity and humor.

For updates on this project visit: http://meetjustjake.blogspot.com/2016/09/project-updates-avoid-saturday-morning.html

How It Stuck, Why Just Jake & A Little Piece of Me

"Is that short for Jacob or something?" My mother-in-law asked after introducing myself for the 'first time'. (early readers of our Jake & Josie blog may catch the reference) "Nope," I replied, as I had a hundred times before to similar inquires, "Just Jake! It shows that way on my birth certificate." "Wull, then hello, Just Jake." she etched in stone with her reply. And so it stuck. =)

Proof

I've been on a "Unity" kick for the past month or so. Thinking, feeling and acting in terms of "us," "our," "we" etc. has its place and It. Is. Wonderful! But a person is a person, no matter how tall! I intend for this to be a place of self discovery. To remain accountable for personal goals. Maybe even, perhaps, as a form of creative self-therapy.  Here, I can express myself less publicly, yet in a deeper, more connectable manner than can be done on the big, bad, double plaid world called Facebook. -- I do spend more time there than I'd like to admit, perhaps because...

I crave connection. Here's a BIG Just-Jake-Abtr. Maybe you'll agree. Maintaining meaningful relationships and connections to the amazing people in my life... is just plain difficult. My life, and the life of many quality people have either singularly or perplexedly: moved geographically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually in less compatible social directions. (Wow, what a mouthful!) Yet, I feel very much connected with many of you reading, I'm sure. After all, the fact that you've taken the time to read THIS, (or even read this far through my wordy sentences) is evidence that we're still socially compatible, in one, if not many ways. And -I- Love-that!

Life, and especially relationships, are complex. Some serve in seasons, for specific reasons, (sink me! *said in the voice of Lord Percy Blakeney) others we hope will last forever! I can usually think of at least 10 people I'd consider forever friends, at any given time. Some of which I rarely talk with due to time and/or perplexity, while others I'm in frequent contact with. You and I may not currently, or actively be the best of friends, -- My wife has continually earned that right, and even if she hadn't by virtue of her title, as wife, she deserves to be such. -- But does that mean that when you get married, you loose all your friends? (Yes, Jake, that's exactly what happens and you know it!) Can you and I not still enjoy element's of each other's friendship? Must we sever ties or close our hearts to each other and become numb? Unfortunately, the answer is not as simple as Yes or No. But -I- am a man of ideals, and resolutely opinionate, NO! (Put the friendship shearers away! We all just be widdle-wost-sheepies!)

I hope that this blog can serve as an open book. May WE connect, strangers or cronies, at home or abroad, mind to mind, heart to heart, spirit to spirit, whether now or a thousand years from now, (give that a minute to sink in) let it be in your own way, on YOUR own time, with what I leave here. Are we not all the family of Adam? And so, I conclude. I AM HERE. (Jake-was-here!) It may be with a mortal heart too small to capacitate all it desires in this life, but yes, JAKE IS HERE. (Mmmhmm, I'll claim making up the word, "opinionate" and "capacitate.")    =)